Sunday, August 06, 2006

Sandstone County Episode Twenty-Eight

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by
2026


Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a Minneapolis hotel's staff and one of its guests, Mark Hidrent. It seems that Officer Hidrent was sent to Minneapolis for some extra sensitivity training due to his reputation for excessive and abusive dealings with the local citizenry of Sandstone County.


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Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please
remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the
medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They
are in my way. Thank you,
Mark A. Hidrent

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Dear Room 419,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower
soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out
of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you
should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left
today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3
soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Cindy, Relief Maid

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Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Cindy did not tell you about my note to her concerning
the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening
I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my
medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two
weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need
those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way
when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.
Mark A. Hidrent

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Dear Mr. Hidrent,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps
which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps
which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish
where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for
your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which
are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new
check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in
last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Helen

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Dear Mr. Hidrent,
The assistant manager, Mr. Sandler, informed me this A.M. that
you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your
maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope
you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you
have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my
personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you.
Susan Fletcher
Housekeeper

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Dear Mrs. Fletcher,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel
for business at 745 AM and don't get back before 530 or 6PM.
That's the reason I called Mr.Sandler last night. You were
already off duty. I only asked Mr. Sandler if he could do
anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you
assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since
she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet
along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf.
In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap.
Why are you doing this to me?
Mark A. Hidrent

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Dear Mr. Hidrent,
Your maid, Cindy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to
your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further
assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you,
Susan Fletcher,
Housekeeper
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Dear Mr. Sandler,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from
my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last
night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere
Bouquets.
Mark A. Hidrent

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Dear Mr. Hidrent,
I have informed our housekeeper, Susan Fletcher, of your soap
problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room
since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time
they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately.
Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
William R. Sandler
Assistant Manager

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Dear Mrs. Fletcher,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in
last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54
little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial.
Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my
bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
Mark A. Hidrent

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Dear Mr. Hidrent,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them
removed. Then you complained to Mr. Sandler that all your soap
was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which
had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily
(sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets.
Obviously your maid, Cindy, did not know I had returned your
soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I
don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size
Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in
your room.
Susan Fletcher
Housekeeper

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Dear Mrs. Fletcher,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap
inventory.
As of today I possess:

- On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of
4 and 1 stack of 2.
- On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1
stack of 3.
- On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1
stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
- Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1
stack of 2.
- In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
- On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
- On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Cindy when she services my room to make sure the
stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that
stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that
my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent
spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased
another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel
vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
Mark A. Hidrent

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All correspondence ended at this point. It is alledged that Officer Hidrent was arrested the following day for assault. It seems that Officer Hidrent cornered Mrs. Fletcher in an elevator and beat the crap out of her. We have no word as to the progress of Officer Hidrent's sensitivity training.

1 comment:

The Gamin said...

I am sure the security tapes will surface some day. Perhaps a reward should be concidered.