What an April Fool's Joke

What a joke for the 1st of April! Just when I thought spring was arriving, we get dumped on by that famous frozen white stuff. This photo shows my once bare-to-the-blacktop driveway is quickly filling up with snow, again. This means I will have to plow the driveway once more.


It, also, means my mentally-challenged, asshole neighbor will be snowblowing, again. Isn't there enough pain in the world?

^

Local History

Here is a photo of the construction of a paper mill
(the Northwest Paper Company)
in my hometown from 1898

Some in Minnesota Back Higher Gas Tax

Well, communist-leaning Minnesota is at it again. Minnesota lawmakers are trying to invoke a new gas tax. What timing. The price of gasoline is soaring higher than ever before and they want to add to the problem. I thought our elected leaders were placed in their positions to solve problems. Some states which don't lean so much to the left are actually supplying relief to their drivers. Texas and Connecticut, for example, are proposing tax holidays for their summer months. Minnesota has proven again, however, that it just loves taxing it's residents.

Governor Pawlenty has vetoed the evil plan but, an override is still possible. With the current gas tax being at 22 cents/gallon, this legislation would bring it to 27 cents or higher. Thanks guys.

My Predictions Proving Accurate Again

Minnesota's House and Senate have now both passed the new state-wide smoking ban. The oppressive bill simply waits for Governor Pawlenty's signature and he is expected to give it approval. Much has been said over the years on smoking bans, both pro and con, but I want to point out some lesser know ideas in this debate.

Let me begin by stating my predictions are already coming to light. For a long time now I have been telling people to watch out for their rights. Many of the non-smokers I know have taken an I-don't-care attitude whenever smoker's rights have become threatened. I always remind them to have a little more interest and not ignore the issue simply because it appears not to effect them directly. I always said that these Liberal Lunatics are power hungry. That these oppressive people will not stop at smoking legislation. That these busy-body communists must always have an agenda. I have stated and continue to preach the fact that these control freaks will never stop at the demise of smoking. They will continue on with new liberty restricting, fanatical programs. The smoking ban may not affect you but, what happens when they are busting your door down? Today their focus is on smoking. Tomorrow they will turn to something you care about.


How about you hunters and gun-toters. Will your rights be more seriously challenged? Do you love to fish? Hey, animals have rights, too! What about you gardeners and plant lovers. Will you be restricted from putting certain plants in your own yard in the future. Do you like short skirts? They are offensive to some. I think high-heels shoes are dangerous. Let's ban them. Tattoos and piercings offend me. They got to go. Do you feel you know how to raise your own children properly. Ha. Let's let the schools, government, or your friendly neighborhood corrections alliance group handle these mundane chores. I feel brightly colored cars sometimes blind me when I'm driving. Let's outlaw them. Here's one, be warned - I hate pets. All animals belong in the wild. You animal lovers look out. Why should I have to put up with shit in my yard, or neighborhood, for that matter? Why do I have to listen to that annoying barking? What about all them attacks I read about, in the papers. I fear for my safety whenever a dog, make that beast, is around. Let's not even get into the cat (yuk) discussion. The point is this list could, and will, go on and on. It won't be long until something you care about is in jeopardy! Be ready for your day!

Ah, back to my accurate prognostication. As I've said, I predicted further erosions of rights when the loonies feel their current dockets have been sufficiently met. Well, in todays Duluth News Tribune, DFL Rep. Tom Huntley bodly states, " . . . he is ready to move on to another health issue — obesity." Ha, the ink is not even dry yet. In fact, the governor hasn't even signed the bill yet, though we know he will. They must always have their soapbox and/or agenda and as one right is sufficiently eliminated it's time to move on and work toward abolishing another right! And let's waste no time in doing so. Are they in your backyard yet?

OK, fatties ( is that OK to say?) they are coming for you. At one time I would never have thought to assist the communist liberal lunatics but, I am now currently tempted. So put down your triple-dipped, sugar laced, fat-inducing, mile-high, mega-sized, bon-bon flavored, mid-morning, fat-fried, super-deluxe ice cream treat for just a moment, if you can. Pull your mega-sized, treat stained gut out of the way, wipe the frosting from your triple-chin and read on. You big people disgust me! Why should I have to look at your fat asses when I'm trying to dine in my pleasant smoke-free environment. If my visual rights are not enough for you let's take another tact. What are you doing to our health care system? I learned this strategy from the anti-smokers and I feel your lard asses are a drain on our countries financial well-being. How about that? Obesity increases the risk of many diseases and health conditions, including the following:

• Hypertension
• Dyslipidemia (for example, high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)
• Type 2 diabetes
• Coronary heart disease
• Stroke
• Gallbladder disease
• Osteoarthritis
• Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
• Some cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon) - oops, there's that cancer word again!

Why should I have to pay higher medical premiums simply because some excessive people can't control themselves? According to a study of national costs attributed to both overweight (BMI 25–29.9) and obesity (BMI greater than 30), medical expenses accounted for 9.1 percent of total U.S. medical expenditures in 1998 and may have reached as high as $78.5 billion ($92.6 billion in 2002 dollars) (Finkelstein, Fiebelkorn, and Wang, 2003). Granted this is on older study and I'm quite certain current estimates would be much higher. You getting the picture yet? Have I made my point?

You gays who feel you need equal rights - look out! I think you are a major cause of aides. Now that can't be good for our health care system, either. What a financial drain. Why am I paying financially for your right to be a freak? And your hate crime crap! You are trying to get more rights than everyone not equal rights. Oh no, here comes a law suit, another financial drain on our country. We better eliminate the courts!

Remember, I have my rights, too! Whatever your passion it will one day be in my, or somebody's, sights! And never, never forget - I'm gunning for your cats and dogs! By the way, what does your dog weigh? Just wondering.

Global Warming Settling In

Yesterday my lawn was finally devoid of all snow and moisture. Today I wake up to this! I must live in Minnesota. Is global warming rearing it's ugly head?

Air and Car Show Extravaganza

Today's Air and Car Show Extravaganza at the Cloquet Airport and Dunlap Island was a fun time for all. I am sorry that I missed the air show but, the car show on Dunlap Island was a blast. Besides gazing at the usual beauties there was a hot rod burnout, an audio exhaust competition and a flame throwing contest.

Although, the competitions were quite fun, I must state, that none of the cars had near the burnout capability or fine sound that my old '72 SS Camaro had back in the day. That is, until a non-contestant pulled up behind the bleachers and gave the sweetest exhaust symphony ever. No actual contestant even came close to the glorious sounds expelled by this rogue driver and his ride.

The flame throwing contest was a bit better. My old Camaro couldn't begin to throw out some of the massive flames that some of these cars did. It should be noted that these autos all used specialized equipment designed specifically for the task. We didn't do this back in the glory days.

As I said, however, it was a great time and I can't wait until the next event. Perhaps I will start looking for an ol' Camaro. Anyone seen any decent pre-80's 'maros' lately?

Storm Hits Park During Tournament

A storm hit Braun Park, this past weekend during the ASA Minnesota State U-14 Girls Fastpitch Softball Tournament. All of the portable shelters, which the park recently acquired for the event, were destroyed by the winds. The storms eventually died down and the games continued in spite of the unseasonably hot weather, which did not diminish. Congratulations to the Cloquet team which weathered all the storms and went on to take first place in the competition.

ASA-Minnesota State U-14 Girls Fastpitch Tournament

Cloquet girls win the division! Congratulations on a super job.

For more tournament photos

State U14 Girls Softball Tourney This Weekend

KERRY RODD
The Pine Journal


Cloquet is gearing up for a big weekend of softball action. Braun Park will be the host site of the ASA-Minnesota State U-14 Girls Fastpitch Tournament starting Friday night.
There will be 27 teams competing in the Rec I level of play with teams coming in from all across the state. Area teams include
A number of local teams have qualified including two teams from Cloquet: Cloquet Re-Max and Cloquet Fond du Lac.
The Braun Park Complex is no stranger to state tournaments and has hosted them in the past few years. With six playing fields available, it is a perfect site for a state tournament.
An entry fee will be charged at the gate and patrons will find a concession stand with water, soft drinks, hot dogs, candy and burgers available throughout the three days provided by B&B Market of Cloquet.
Those planning to attend the event will find some shaded areas, but they are also asking spectators to bring umbrellas to help against the hot weather we’ve had in the area for the past three weeks.
The tournament is being hosted by the Cloquet Area Youth Baseball/Softball Association.

Pine Journal sports reporter Kerry Rodd can be contacted at: kdrodd@aol.com.

Iraq War Hits Home

The other day I heard rumors of my cousin's incident in Iraq. These rumors took many forms and variations, as they often do. Well, hear it is in print, so I guess it's official. My uncle, I am told, was extremely upset and worried about this, which is understandable, until he had a chance to talk to Brian on the phone. He became much calmer after Brian assured him that he was alright and actually concidered himself lucky. Brian felt this way because he was alive and some of his brothers-in-arms did not fair so well.

It's hard to find the words at times like these. How can one properly express their gratitude for couragous soldiers who literally give up life and limb for their country. I, for one, am not that skilled. All I can clumsily say is thank you Brian and thank you to all you other men and women who have served, who are serving, and who will be serving in the honor of our great country. It would be hard to find a greater deed. All will be in my prayers.

You Might Live In Minnesota -

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through l8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Minnesota.

If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year, because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Minnesota.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", you might live in Minnesota.

If your local Dairy Queen is always closed from November through March, you might live in Minnesota.

If you believe the mosquito is your state bird, you might live in Minnesota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Minnesota.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Minnesota.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Minnesota.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Minnesota.

If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina, Shakopee ,Winton and Ely, you might live in Minnesota.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Minnesota.

And you might live in Minnesota if -

Vacation means going up north past Virginia for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
The men are men and so are the women.
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at convinence store at any given time.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
You consider Minneapolis exotic.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your Blue spruce.
Down South to you means Iowa.
A brat is something you eat.
You go out to fish fry every Friday.
You find 0 degrees a little chilly.
You actually understand these jokes.