Friday, August 11, 2006

How Anyone Can Justify Taking Pictures

Adherents to any religion or belief-system can justify taking pictures:

The Communist: Everyone owns one camera; all pictures are equal in merit and belong to the State.
The Capitalist: The one who dies with the most cameras, WINS!
The Environmentalist: Cameras can be used to record nature, except those with batteries.
The Darwinist: Pictures are not created, they evolve.
The Zen Master: A photograph of a tree is not a tree unless it is a tree, photographed.
The Pentecostallist: Hallelujah for talking picture frames.
The Catholic: It's OK to buy a new camera as long as you feel guilty.
The Hari Krishna: Photography while dancing is allowed but use the non-tambourine hand and a fast shutter speed.
The Existentialist: Photography is boring and your pictures bore others. Good.
The Confucian: A camera dropped in the sea is no longer dry.
The Christian Scientist: I am a camera.
The Muslim: It is only permissible to take pictures of patterns.
The Jew: He who bought his camera for the lowest price, wins.
The Jehovah's Witness: Try selling your prints door-to-door.
The Spiritualist: Look for ghosts in clouds, trees and window reflections.
The Voodooist: Keep sharp objects away from self-portraits.
The Buddhist: The desire for approval, a grant or an exhibition causes suffering.
The Fundamentalist: I don't know anything about it but if it gives pleasure it should be banned.
The Aryan: Blacks and whites should not appear together in the same picture.
The Politically Correct: All colors must be equally represented in every picture.
The Conservative: Only the rich and powerful can be trusted to take photographs.
The Liberal: The Government should provide free cameras to all.
The Survivalist: A camera, especially the Nikon F, makes a serviceable hammer and the lens can start fires on sunny days.
The Atheist: The spiritual does not exist so the camera cannot steal the soul.

A bit of humor from Bill Jay's EndNotes, a regular feature of LensWork magazine.

1 comment:

The Gamin said...

I can see you have a total grasp of the issue.