USS Montana

Summertime Construction

Test Reveals Female Hormones in Beer

I found a disturbing newspaper article lately which I felt compelled to share (click on picture above to make it large enough to read). I guess there is another reason to drink moderately.

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I'm Moe Green

Make Sure You Have a Clear Mortgage Title

Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.

A New Orleans Lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:

(Actual letter): "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title.

While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the US, from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.

For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to US ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.

The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition.

Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA.

I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?"

The loan was approved.

emailed to me by a friend

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The iPhone is Not Just For Play

There can be many important uses for this great technology

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Who Says Remotes Must Be Complex ?

Never Hire a Gay Weatherman

This video is 'right at the wall for me'.

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I'm Smaht, I Can Do Things

This is a GREAT video - it's smaht!
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I'm Smaht

If you know me, you know I love the Godfather Trilogy.
Without question the best movies of all time.
So, I was elated when I found this tribute to my little brother.
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Only Sissies Use Charmin

Spend Your Refund Check Wisely

GOVERNMENT REFUND CHECKS
Please spend wisely!

The federal government is sending each and everyone of us a $600 rebate.

• If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.
• If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
• If we purchase a computer it will go to India.
• If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico,Honduras, and Guatemala.
• If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan.
• If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan . . .
  

and none of it will help the American economy.

So perhaps, the only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes, weed, beer, cigarettes, whiskey, and tattoos, since these are the only products still produced in the United States.

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Sandstone County * Episode Sixty-Two

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All
Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

Pine City has recently instituted a massive program to clean up the city. The popular program is catching on and Sandstone County is currently undertaking similar steps to spruce up their jurisdictions. Proper disposal sites will be liberally dispersed throughout the county. All residents are encouraged to participate by placing all refuse into their respective containers and are reminded, "please, do not mix up waste products and recyclables." If we all work together we can have a clean city/county once again.

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Obama's American Geography

Dirt for Dessert

Now, I thought this was interesting. What this photo shows is actually pudding. Yes, edible pudding. Under all that dirt, which is actually crushed Oreo Cookies, is a type of pudding concoction. The colorful things you see sticking out of the dirt are worms - edible gummy worms. I have seen this dish prepared before but, this little extra makes it kind of cute (issh what am I doing - I hate that word). The extras are the worms and the clever use of the toy wheelbarrow. I've only seen the dessert made in a regular bowl and no worms added. What a neat extra touch. It's kinda cute, I mean neat.

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A Trick Play

Proof that a trick does not have to be complex to be effective!

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Time For a Mac

What an April Fool's Joke

What a joke for the 1st of April! Just when I thought spring was arriving, we get dumped on by that famous frozen white stuff. This photo shows my once bare-to-the-blacktop driveway is quickly filling up with snow, again. This means I will have to plow the driveway once more.


It, also, means my mentally-challenged, asshole neighbor will be snowblowing, again. Isn't there enough pain in the world?

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Monkey Rides a Mini Bike

A monkey is actually riding a mini bike on very busy streets, no less.
It reminds me of my brother riding his V65.
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Hillary Does Not Lie

See, doubters, Hillary wasn't lying after all!