Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Another Famous Idiot


Sheryl Crow is coming up with some ingenious ways to curb the impending global warming crisis. Sheryl is currently on a 2 week "global warming college tour", which to me is designed for scaring the shit out of young people. Which fits right in with one of her major global warming cures. Ingeniously, she proposes we all use one square of toilet paper per visit! Wow, Sheryl, problem solved!


Here is a direct insert from her waste of a web space-

"I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of conserving trees which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares {sic} of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. "

I hope no one has too many of those special "pesky" occasions. Good plan Sheryl. Scare the shit out of the college students and then give them one little square to clean up your smelly, induced mess! Thanks for your caring.

Her brother ( whose judgement she trusts completely) took it one step further by saying: "how bout just washing the one square out." Now there's an idea. I hope he's only five or has some mental disorder for an excuse. Not to be outdone by brother-dearest Sheryl has designed a clothing line with detachable "dining" sleeves, to save on paper napkins! All the 'Hollywood' idiots should be wearing these at their next red carpet affair! Keep an eye out.

Believe it or not she's a little worried you might steal some of her great ideas! She boldly states in her blog, "This next idea I have been saving but I will share it with you if you promise not to steal it". Let's be fair here and develop our own idiotic ideas, people.

Remember, also, that she may be using a diesel bus for this particular tour but, her normal tour equipment consists of 3 tractor trailers, 4 buses and 6 cars! Hypocrite? You decide.

1 comment:

Anderson Nation said...

Why can't she strap her geetar to her back and ride a bicycle to the concert. Wait, even better...Nobody likes her shitty music anyway, so cancel all future concerts indefinately, saving millions of kilowatts of energy created by those evil power generation plants.
Next, she can install a bidet in every home in America. For those who don't know what a bidet is, check a dictionary. If you can't do that much, get out of here.
Finally, she can walk into the woods and search out a tall tree that could use a nutritional boost. Then she can dig a hole under the tree. Next she can climb into the hole, eat a bullet, and feed the tree some of her oozing verbal excrement.