My Next Truck Purchase

Here's my next truck.
The International CXT

Look up in awe at the 9-foot high cab. The largest production pickup truck in the world sports an 8-foot dualie pickup bed. The height of the bed is 58 inches off the ground. How tall are you? I've read that with it's air-ride cab and individual bucket seats in a spacious interior, driving one becomes a remarkably smooth experience. It has a payload capacity of 5.5 tons and a towing capacity of 20 tons. With 310 horses pulling it and 950 ft. lbs. of torque, it should get by. Weighing in at 14,500 lbs. and with 258 inches of overall length it's the perfect grocery hauler.

It is a 4-door crew cab with air suspension. With it's bucket seats it hauls five large people with plenty of leg and head room and in style and comfort. Try that in your Honda. It, also, has 4-channel ABS air brakes and a 70 gallon polished aluminum diesel tank. It all rolls elegantly on polished aluminum wheels sporting 11R22.5 Michelins (on the rear duals).

The interior, also, features leather multi-position individual front seats, back-up assist, drop-down DVD player, deluxe center console, leather rear bench seat, carpeting, burled walnut wood trim, and a combination radio/DC player/navigation system.

The exterior, also, features bright-finish heated mirrors, exterior sunshade, keyless entry, base coat/clear coat paint, fog lights, air horn, polished front and rear bumpers, tilting steering wheel and vertical bright-finish tailpipe.

AND for unloading those groceries - with a simple touch of a button, the pickup bed tilts to smoothly drop those eggs gently in your driveway. What more could a simple man want?

Music Trivia 6

What famous song contained these lines? -

Every day I work so hard, bringin' home my hard earned pay
Try to love you baby, but you push me away.
Don't know where you're goin', only know just where you've been,
Sweet little baby, I want you again.

Best War Photos

Here is a link to the best photos I have personally seen of our current conflict overseas. Until We Meet Again!!! is a must see sight. All the photos are done as a slide show format and are very telling.

God bless all our brave men and women over there.

Add A Caption 16

Who has a caption for this photo?

Music Trivia 5

Here is a much easier trivia post than the last one. It was my favorite song of 1976 and part of the first concert I ever attended. It started like this -

And the meek shall inherit the earth.

... the massive grey walls of the temples rise from the
Heart of every federation city. I have always been awed
By them, to think that every single facet of every life is
Regulated and directed from within! our books, our music,
Our work and play are all looked after by the benevolent
Wisdom of the priests...

Anderson Nation was correct -

Temples of Syrinx by Rush on the 2112 album.

The whole thing goes as follows -

And the meek shall inherit the earth.

Ii. the temples of syrinx

... the massive grey walls of the temples rise from the
Heart of every federation city. I have always been awed
By them, to think that every single facet of every life is
Regulated and directed from within! our books, our music,
Our work and play are all looked after by the benevolent
Wisdom of the priests...

Weve taken care of everything
The words you hear the songs you sing
The pictures that give pleasure to your eyes
Its one for all and all for one
We work together common sons
Never need to wonder how or why

We are the priests of the temples of syrinx
Our great computers fill the hallowed halls
We are the priests of the temples of syrinx
All the gifts of life are held within our walls

Look around this world we made
Equality our stock in trade
Come and join the brotherhood of man
Oh what a nice contented world
Let the banners be unfurled
Hold the red star proudly high in hand

We are the priests of the temples of syrinx
Our great computers fill the hallowed halls.
We are the priests of the temples of syrinx
All the gifts of life are held within our walls.

Iii. discovery
Words by neil peart, music by alex lifeson

... behind my beloved waterfall, in the little room that was
Hidden beneath the cave, I found it. I brushed away the
Dust of the years, and picked it up, holding it reverently in
My hands. I had no idea what it might be, but it was
Beautiful ...
... I learned to lay my fingers across the wires, and to turn
The keys to make them sound differently. as I struck the
Wires with my other hand, I produced my first harmonious
Sounds, and soon my own music! how different it could
Be from the music of the temples! I cant wait to tell the
Priests about it! ...

What can this strange device be?
When I touch it, it gives forth a sound
Its got wires that vibrate and give music
What can this thing be that I found?

See how it sings like a sad heart
And joyously screams out its pain
Sounds that build high like a mountain
Or notes that fall gently like rain

I cant wait to share this new wonder
The people will all see its light
Let them all make their own music
The priests praise my name on this night

Iv. presentation
Words by neil peart, music by alex lifeson

... in the sudden silence as I finished playing, I looked up
To a circle of grim, expressionless faces. father brown
Rose to his feet, and his somnolent voice echoed
Throughout the silent temple hall. ...
... instead of the grateful joy that I expected, they were
Words of quiet rejection! instead of praise, sullen
Dismissal. I watched in shock and horror as father brown
Ground my precious instrument to splinters beneath his
Feet...

I know its most unusual
To come before you so
But Ive found an ancient miracle
I thought that you should know

Listen to my music
And hear what it can do
Theres something here as strong as life
I know that it will reach you

Yes, we know its nothing new
Its just a waste of time
We have no need for ancient ways
The world is doing fine

Another toy will help destroy
The elder race of man
Forget about your silly whim
It doesnt fit the plan

I cant believe youre saying
These things just cant be true
Our world could use this beauty
Just think what we might do

Listen to my music
And hear what it can do
Theres something here as strong as life
I know that it will reach you

Don't annoy us further
We have our work to do
Just think about the average
What use have they for you?

Another toy will help destroy
The elder race of man
Forget about your silly whim
It doesn't fit the plan

Words by Neil Peart, music by GeddyLee and Alex Lifeson

Add A Caption 15

This photo needs a caption - who has one?

Sandstone County * Episode Fifty-Six

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

Yesterday, the temperature was very frigid and a strong northern wind wasn't making it any better. In the midst of this terrible weather Officer Hidrent and his partner were outside directing traffic. They were both unbearably cold. All the while, their Sargent was sitting comfortably in his warm squad car, drinking a hot coffee and watching these two men at work in the ghastly weather. Officer Hidrent suddenly asked his partner, "why are we out in this weather directing traffic when our boss is up there in the comfort of his vehicle?"

"I don't know," responded the other. "I'll ask him."

So he crossed the street and went to his boss. "Sarge, why are we out in this terrible weather and you're sitting comfortably in your squad?"

"Intelligence," the boss replied."

"What do you mean, ‘intelligence'?"

"I'll show you," the Sargent said, as he climbed from his vehicle. "I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The officer took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss's hand. The Sargent quickly removed his hand and the officer hit the tree hard. The boss then said, "Now, that's intelligence, so get back to work!"

The wounded officer went back to his station, rubbing his sore hand. Hidrent asked him, "What did he say?"

"He said we are down here because of intelligence."

"What's intelligence?" asked the puzzled Hidrent?

The officer, hand still throbbing, put his hand on his face and said, "take your flashlight and hit my hand as hard as you can . . ."

Music Trivia 4

Let them run, let them chase
Let them hid between
Constant doors will open eyes
As life seems like
Life seems like a
Fight, fight, fight

What song includes the above lyrics and who sings it?

I am very, impressed by DMWN who said...

ONCE AGAIN MY CHILDHOOD COMES BACK TO HAUNT ME OR HELP ME. RAISED IN A HOME WHERE MUSIC WAS ALWAYS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND (MOSTLY 70'S ROCK) I WOULD SAY THAT THE BAND IS "YES" BUT I DO NOT KNOW THE TITLE OF THE SONG.

I am not surprised she did not get the title, however. The song was entitled 'Ritual - Nous Sommes du Soleil' and the full lyrics go -

Nous sommes du soleil. We love when we play.
Nous sommes du soleil. We love when we play.
Open doors we find our way
We look we see we smile
Surely daybreaks cross our path
And stay maybe a while

Let them run, let them chase
Let them hid between
Constant doors will open eyes
As life seems like
Life seems like a
Fight, fight, fight

Maybe I'll just sing awhile
And then give you a call
Maybe I'll just say hello
And say maybe that's all
Hurry home as love is true
Will help us through the night

Till we're coming home again
Our life seems like
Life seems like a
Fight, fight, fight

Catch as we look and use the passions that flow
As we try we continue
We receive all we venture to give

Maybe we'll just stand awhile
And surely we can call
Dreams are said to blossom courage
Constant to the soul

Change we must as surely time does
Changes call the course
Held inside we enter daybreaks
Asking for asking for
The source
The source
The source
Sent as we sing our music's total retain

As we try and consider
We receive all we venture to give
All we say is our
Soul constant sight listener
We won't tender our song clearer
Till we sail
Then I will be there
And I will be there
As clearer companions
Shall call to be near you
They move around tell me that
Move around surely sing
As they don't seem to matter at all
At all at all ...

Hold me my love, hold me today, call me round
Travel we say, wander we choose, love tune
Lay upon me, hold me around lasting hours
We love when we play

We hear a sound and alter our returning
We drift the shadows and course our way on home
Flying home
Going home

Look me my love sentences move dancing away
We join we receive
As our song memories long hope in a way
Nous sommes du soleil
Hold me around lasting ours
We love when we play
Nous sommes du soleil
Nous sommes du soleil
Nous sommes du

Add A Caption 14

Who has a caption for this one?

This one was a tough choice!

I ultimately chose - DMWN who wrote...

Young Grasshopper is in attack mode . . .

she is willing to fight for chocolate and the right to watch cartoons.

but there were other submissions which were just as good.

Music Trivia 3

Who can name the song which starts -

Overhead the albatross hangs motionless upon the air
And deep beneath the rolling waves
In labyrinths of coral caves
The echo of a distant tide
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and submarine.

And from what album does it come?

DMWN said...

FLOYD-ECHOES and is correct.

The whole song goes like this -

Overhead the albatross hangs motionless upon the air
And deep beneath the rolling waves
In labyrinths of coral caves
The echo of a distant tide
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and submarine.

And no one showed us to the land
And no one knows the wheres or whys
But something stirs and something tries
And starts to climb toward the light

Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand the best I can

And no one calls us to move on
And no one forces down our eyes
And no one speaks and no one tries
And no one flies around the sun

Cloudless every day you fall upon my waking eyes
Inciting and inviting me to rise
And through the window in the wall
Comes streaming in on sunlight wings
A million bright ambassadors of morning

And no one sings me lullabies
And no one makes me close my eyes
And so I throw the windows wide
And call to you across the sky

Sandstone County * Episode Fifty-Five

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

A man was going to bed one night when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the shed. She could see the light was on from the bedroom window. As the man looked for himself he saw that there were people in the shed taking things.

The man phoned 911, but they told him that no one was in the area to help him at that time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available.

He said "OK," hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned them again. "Hello" he said, "I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now 'cause I've shot them."

Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed.

Officer Hidrent said: "I thought you said that you shot them!"

The man replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Add A Caption 13

Who has a great caption for this young and successful hunter?

This one goes to -

~*SilverNeurotic*~ who said...

And his parents were worried he'd shoot his eye out.

Music Trivia 2

What 1973 song includes -

Come inside, the shows about to start
Guaranteed to blow your head apart
Rest assured youll get your moneys worth
The greatest show in heaven, hell or earth.

and from what album does it derive?

Linda you are correct-
Linda said...

The album was called "Brain Salad Surgery" and the song is titled "Karn Evil 9" and it is definitely Emerson, Lake, and Palmer!

The whole song follows:

Cold and misty morning, I heard a warning borne in the air
About an age of power where no one had an hour to spare,
Where the seeds have withered, silent children shivered, in the cold
Now their faces captured in the lenses of the jackals for gold.
Ill be there
Ill be there
I will be there.

Suffering in silence, theyve all been betrayed.
They hurt them and they beat them, in a terrible way,
Praying for survival at the end of the day.
There is no compassion for those who stay.
Ill be there
Ill be there
I will be there.

There must be someone who can set them free:
To take their sorrow from this odyssey
To help the helpless and the refugee
To protect whats left of humanity.
Cant you see
Cant you see
Cant you see.

Ill be there
Ill be there
I will be there;
To heal their sorrow
To beg and borrow
Fight tommorow.

Step inside! hello! weve the most amazing show
Youll enjoy it all we know
Step inside! step inside!

Weve got thrills and shocks, supersonic fighting cocks.
Leave your hammers at the box
Come inside! come inside!
Roll up! roll up! roll up!
See the show!

Left behind the bars, rows of bishops heads in jars
And a bomb inside a car
Spectacular! spectacular!

If you follow me theres a speciality
Some tears for you to see
Misery, misery,
Roll up! roll up! roll up!
See the show!

Next upon the bill in our house of vaudeville
Weve a stripper in a till
What a thrill! what a thrill!
And not content with that, with our hands behind our backs,
We pull jesus from a hat,
Get into that! get into that!
Roll up! roll up! roll up!
See the show!

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
Were so glad you could attend
Come inside! come inside!
There behind a glass is a real blade of grass
Be careful as you pass.
Move along! move along!

Come inside, the shows about to start
Guaranteed to blow your head apart
Rest assured youll get your moneys worth
The greatest show in heaven, hell or earth.
Youve got to see the show, its a dynamo.
Youve got to see the show, its rock and roll ....

Soon the gypsy queen in a glaze of vaseline
Will perform on guillotine
What a scene! what a scene!
Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand
To alexanders ragtime band
Roll up! roll up! roll up!
See the show!

Performing on a stool weve a sight to make you drool
Seven virgins and a mule
Keep it cool. keep it cool.
We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown
Were exclusively our own,
All our own. all our own.
Come and see the show! come and see the show! come and see the show!
See the show!

Sandstone County * Episode Fifty-Four

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026


While investigating an accident yesterday, Officer Hidrent snapped this photo. The driver must have not noticed the 'deer crossing' sign! Thankfully, only the deer was injured.

Newest Family Addition

Victoria (Tori) Rose Mallory was born in Cloquet on 28 December. What a queen. She came into this world at 10:53am weighing 7 lbs and 6ozs. She was 20 inches long.

Her older sister tells me she is very, glad to have a sister and NOT another brother. I do know however, that she loves her brother dearly. Thank You Tammie for another wonderful family addition.

Add A Caption 12

And who has a caption for this photo?

Looks like the winner is

Anderson Nation who said...

What are you looking at? My mother rides one...

The Whole Crew (So Far)

Add A Caption 11

And who has a great caption for this photo?

Again this one goes to . . .

eddyquette who said... Er, "nothing runs like a d'ouch!"

Argh, Not Again

Sorry again !

As, you may have noticed, my recent posting has been scarce. I have been having a lot of computer problems. I managed to make a few posts here and there, including this one. It is difficult, as I usually get booted off in the middle of my entries. So, for the most part I haven't posted anything but, rather worked extensively on diagnostics. I thought it was cured one time only to find out I still had problems.

A while back I got very tired of Internet Explorer and finally switched to Firefox. I am now seriously considering a switch to the Macintosh system. Does anyone have any extensive experience with Apple. I would sure like to hear some pros and cons, esp. as it compares to the pc.

In the mean time my posts will be limited, as I continue to work on my technical difficulties. I hope to be up to full swing soon.

Add A Caption 10

Who has a caption for this pic?

And here's are winner -

Anderson Nation said...

I thought we were bobbing for apples. What's THAT?

Music Trivia

From what song does the following come from -

And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason

And who can give the verse which follows?



Found on Led Zeppelin's fourth album, which was released in 1971, many consider 'Stairway To Heaven' to be the greatest song of all time. This amazing song was never released as a single. After all it is eight minutes long. It went platinum numerous times and is the biggest selling sheet music in rock history.

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who standing looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

Add A Caption 9

Who has a caption for this photo?

This one goes to -

Anderson Nation who said...

Nobody said anything about a night game.

Sandstone County * Episode Fifty-Three

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

One afternoon, deputy Hidrent was heading home at the end of his shift, when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He pulled over and got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then," instructed the deputy.

"But, sir, I have a wife and two children!"

"Bring them along!" replied Hidrent. He then turned to the other man and said, "You can come with us, too"

"But sir, I have a wife and six children!" the second man answered.

"Bring them as well, they to are welcome!" answered the deputy.

The adults climbed into the car and the children followed behind on foot, as they could not all fit in the vehicle. Deputy Hidrent kindly drove real slow, so as not to lose any of the children. After a couple of miles, one of the poor fellows says, "Officer, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

Deputy Hidrent replied, "No problem sir, the grass at my house is almost a foot tall."

Don't Slouch?

Wow. First the experts tell me that Pluto is no longer a planet and now they tell me my mother was wrong!

For years my mother reminded my siblings and I to sit up straight. We heard this from our teachers, too. This was supposed to be good for our bones and I received many scoldings over this. To this day I am constantly having to remind myself to correct my posture, especially while sitting at my desk. Now it seems my mother was a liar.

A new study done by researchers at Woodend Hospital in Aberdeen, Scotland has shown that a more laid back posture (ha, mom) is actually better for us. The best posture, they say, is actually at a 135-degree angle and not the bolt-upright position that I have learned to loath. This would be somewhat of a sprawl which is halfway between being upright and prone. It seems that despite my repeated attempts to follow mothers advice I was sitting correctly more often than not, all along. Researchers concluded that the 135-degree position, I most often defaulted to, put the least amount of strain on the discs, muscles, and tendons.

Using the correct posture is still important. It is only our belief in what the 'correct posture' is that has changed. "Sitting in a sound anatomic position is essential, since the strain put on the spine and its associated ligaments over time can lead to pain, deformity and chronic illness," said WaseemAmir Bashir, lead author of the study.

Bashir isn't alone in these beliefs. Other experts and doctors agree. Gunnar Andersson, the chairman of orthopedics at Rush University in Chicago discovered 30 years ago that a 135-degree angle was optimal. Other ergonomics specialists from office furniture makers such as Herman Miller and Steelcase, also agree. They've been incorporating reclining positions into their products for years.

It simply comes back to listening to your own body. If it doesn't feel comfortable, it's probably not good for you. Personally, I am elated with these findings and feel that there should be a recliner behind every desk. Now if the experts would just tell me my mother was wrong about my vegetables.

Top Ten Westerns

I have noticed that some of my dedicated readers are avid or budding fans of the 'western' movie genre. I am a fan of the western movie myself. So, for these readers I submit a top ten list of western movies. This list is not my own (perhaps someday I shall compile one) but, is rather a list I have acquired from the Cinemacom website. It is a very, informative and entertaining site. Check it out if you an interest in westerns.

• The Ox-Bow Incident - William A. Wellman (1942) Henry Fonda
• Duel in the Sun - King Vidor (1946) Gregory Peck, Jennifer Jones
• My Darling Clementine - John Ford (1946) Henry Fonda, Victor Mature
• Red River - Howard Hawks (1948) John Wayne, Montgomery Clift
• Broken Arrow - Delmer Daves (1950) James Stewart, Jeff Chandler
• The Gunfighter - Henry King (1950) Gregory Peck
• Stars in My Crown - Jacques Tourneur (1950) Joel McCrea, Ellen Drew
• Winchester '73 - Anthony Mann (1950) James Stewart, Stephen McNally
• High Noon - Fred Zinnemann (1952) Gary Cooper, Grace Kelly
• The Naked Spur - Anthony Mann (1953) James Stewart, Robert Ryan

Add A Caption 8

Who has a caption for this one?

Well this one 'obviously' goes to eddyquette -

eddyquette said...

"just another day at the office"

Sandstone County * Episode Fifty-Two

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

Pic A Day Spoof

A hilarious spoof of those picture a day videos.

Wrong Gift Again

Guys - be carefull when selecting gifts for your SPECIAL SOMEONE this year!

Add A Caption 7

And who has a caption for this pic?

And this caption is from -

weeds who said...

HOW McDONALDS MAKES CHICKEN NUGGETS.

Sandstone County * Episode Fifty-One

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

Deputy Hidrent recently worked the scene of a terrible accident - body parts were everywhere. He was making his notes of where the different body pieces were and comes across a head.
He writes in his notebook: "Head on bullevard" and scratchs out his spelling error.
"Head on bouelevard" Nope, doesn't look right - scratch scratch.
"Head on boolevard..." dang it! Scratch scratch.
He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head and finally wtrites "Head on curb."

Sandstone County * Episode Fifty

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

Early this morning a man was speeding through Sandstone County. He crossed the bridge at the west side of Pine when Officer Hidrent, parked at the far end, noticed him. Deputy Hidrent promptly pulls him over and walks up to the vehicle. As he approaches the man rolls down his window. "Do you know why I pulled you over," asks Deputy Hidrent?

"Yes sir," replied the driver, "I was speeding, but I'm a doctor and have to get to the hospital."

Hidrent had heard this a hundred times, and asked, "What exactly do you do, Doctor?"

The man replies, "Why, I'm a rectum stretcher, sir."

The deputy hadn't heard of this before and replies "What is that, exactly?"

The man explains, "What I do is work the fingers of one hand into the rectum one by one - then the next hand until I have stretched the rectum to about four and a half feet."

Hidrent then asks, "What the hell do you do with a four and a half-foot asshole?"

The man replies, "Stick him at the end of a bridge with a radar gun, of course."

Sandstone County * Episode Fourty-Nine

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

Yesterday, while on routine patrol, Officer Hidrent pulled over a man for running a stop sign and the subject gave him a lot of grief and insisted that he did stop.

After several minutes, Officer Hidrent explained to the gentleman that he didn't stop, he just slowed down a little.

The gentleman said "Stop or slow down, what's the hell's difference?"

Officer Hidrent immediately pulled the guy out of his car and worked him over for a couple of minutes and then asked, "Would you like for me to stop or just slow down?"

Add A Caption 6

Now then, who has a caption for this photo?

This caption goes to -
eddyquette said...

same bull..., different day

Letter To Kerry

Following is a letter written by a Marine in response to senator Kerry's latest 'foot-n-mouth'. It was sent to me by someone with whom I share a special bond - we both have relatives who were injured by the same IED in Iraq.

This was written by my husband, Sgt. Aaron —-, who is currently deployed to Iraq, in response to a recent comment made by Senator John Kerry. ~ Michelle

Yesterday John Kerry said, “You know education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well, and if you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq”

So I wrote him a letter:

I am a Sergeant in the United States Marine Corps. I am currently on my second tour in Iraq, a tour which I volunteered for. I speak Arabic and Spanish and I plan to tackle Persian Farsi soon. I have a Bachelors and an Associates Degree and between deployments I am pursuing an M.B.A. In college I was a member of several academic honor societies, including the Golden Key Honor Society. I am not unique among the enlisted troops. Many of my enlisted colleagues include lawyers, teachers, mechanics, engineers, musicians and artists just to name a few. You say that your comments were directed towards the President and not us. If we were stupid, Senator Kerry, we might have believed you.

I am not a victim of President Bush. I proudly serve him because he is my Commander and Chief. If it was you who was President, I would serve you just as faithfully. I serve America, Senator Kerry, and I am also providing a service to the good people of Iraq. I have not terrorized them in the middle of the night, raped them or murdered them as you have accused me of before. I am doing my part to help them rebuild. My role is a simple one, but important. You see, Senator Kerry, like it or not, we came here and removed a tyrant (who terrorized Iraqis in the middle of the night, and raped them and murdered them). And we have a responsibility to see to it that another one doesn’t take his place. The people of Iraq are recovering from an abusive relationship with a terrible government and it’s going to take some time to help them recover from that. We can’t treat this conflict like a microwave dinner and throw a temper tantrum because we feel like it’s taking too long.

Senator Kerry, you don’t have to agree with this war. You don’t have to say nice things about those of us who choose to make sacrifices for the rights of every American rather than sit back and simply feel entitled to it. But please, Senator Kerry, if you’re going to call me a stupid murdering rapist, stick by what you say. Don’t tell me that I misunderstood or that you would never insult a veteran because you’re one too. Having been there and done that does not give you a free pass to insult me.

My suggestion for you, Senator Kerry, is to remember that your speeches are recorded, and broadcast to us simpletons over here. You may want to write down what you want to say before you say it, maybe have somebody look at it before you say it and tell you what others might hear. Remember that we can’t read your mind, if there are any misinterpretations in what you say, it’s because you didn’t communicate clearly.

Good luck to you Senator Kerry, if nothing else it’s always entertaining to watch you try and climb out of the holes that you constantly dig for yourself.

Sincerely,
Somebody who is watching his daughter grow up in photographs so that you can have the right to say whatever you want about him.

Wife Flys To Meet Nicolo

I brought my anxious wife to the airport this morning. She is off to see our newest grandson Nicolo. She is very, excited and anxious to meet him. I too hope to meet him soon. Alas, I wish he was not so far off.

I'm Back

I am back from the deer shack and ready to start blogging again.

My time at the shack has been wonderful, to say the least. Out of six hunters we got five deer, so far. We still have until sundown Sunday to continue hunting. I will be working until Saturday afternoon but, will then be back out there, for a final hunt.

Enough of that. I don't want to bore everyone. Suffice it to say I'm back to blogging.

Belated Announcement

Some of you may have noticed that I have not posted for a while. I have been gone from my computer and up at my hunting lodge lately. Deer Hunting is in full swing in this neck of the woods and I have taken time to participate, as I do every year. Last week, in my haste to get out the door and head north I thought I had announced this on my blog. I came into town today to vote and decided to check this site. To my dismay I never made the post. At any rate here is the belated version.

I will be at the hunting lodge until the middle of next week and you can expect no posts from me until my return. I am sorry I didn't make this announcement sooner and apologize profusely. I hope everyone returns later when the blog is back in full swing.

Wish me luck!

Add A Caption 5

Who's got a caption for this one?

Well, this one goes to - Anonymous
you know who you are.

Anonymous said...

Empress of Mischief

Sandstone County * Episode Fourty-Eight

It appears Deputy Hidrent is in trouble again. He has been diligently working the shopping cart thefts since last weekend. Everything was going smoothly until he halled in the suspect shown here. Now the hard-working deputy is being accused of profiling!


Upon apprehension the suspect screamed, "What, you don't think the homeless deserve to roll in style, man? You just stopped me because I'm black!"


We'd opt for some 20-inch dubs ourselves, but this bad boy has GPS, a mini-fridge, AM/FM cassette stereo, LCD screen with TV tuner, can crusher, alarm with strobe lights, a tent, solar powered battery charger, and a slide out seat.

We have yet to see if this arrest will be upheld. The Sandstone County Sheriff would not give us access to Deputy Hidrent stating he did not want, " . . . the little pee-on saying something stupid and jeopardising the case."

Viking No Show

Nothing to report on the Vikings today, as they did not show up for the game.

More Family Testosterone !

Welcome to Nicolo Muraro. He entered this world at 3:29pm on 29 October 2006, in North Carolina. He is my fifth (5th) grandchild and only my second (2nd) grandson, with another grandson on the way. Nicolo will forever share the birthday of my deceased brother Marty who was born on the same date in 1963.

Sandstone County * Episode Fourty-Seven

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

Three blondes were attempting to change a light bulb. After having severe problems one of them decides to call Sandstone County Dispatch.

Blonde: We need help.
Dispatch: What is the problem, ma'am?
Blonde: We were trying to change a light bulb . . .
Dispatch: This number is for emergencies only, ma'am.
Blonde : But this is an emergency!
Dispatch: Ok, Ok. Let's see. Did you put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Dispatch: Hmmmm. Is the power in the house on?
Blonde: Of course.
Dispatch: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Dispatch: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Dispatch: Again, this number is only for emergencies! What is the nature of your problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
Dispatch: Goodbye.

Add A Caption 4

How about a caption for this photo. Anyone?

Wow, Matt gets two in a row!
Congratulations Matt.
I love this one.

Matt said...

"I suck at lollipops."

GREAT TRUTHS

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

• 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptiz cats!
• 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair!
• 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
• 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
• 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
• 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
• 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
• 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
• 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
• 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

• 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
• 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
• 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
• 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
• 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
• 6) Middle age is when yo u choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

• 1) Growing old is mandatory; Growing up is optional.
• 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
• 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
• 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
• 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
• 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
• 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

• 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
• 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
• 3) You are Santa Claus.
• 4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

• At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
• At age 12 success is. . . having friends.
• At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
• At age 35 success is . .having money.
• At age 50 success is . . having money.
• At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
• At age 75 success is . . .having friends.
• At age 80 success is . . .not peeing in your pants.

sent to me by my daughter

Give Me A Break

Last night while watching "The Unit" (a great show by the way), I got my annual jolt of rampant commercialism. Sure, it happens every year. Sure, it's usual to complain that it comes earlier every year but now they are really pushing it. I am beyond sick of it! If you haven't guessed yet, I saw my first Christmas commercial yesterday.

Let's see where we are in this. Yesterday was October 24th. Halloween would still be a week away. Thanksgiving is still 30 days away, making that a full month. Christmas is 62 days away or longer than 2 months. Argh. How long will it be before these commercials are pushed ahead of Labor Day. Don't laugh, it's probably coming.

I think this even has Santa scratching his head in disbelief. I just want to get through the deer season without having to think about Christmas and it's commercialism and I surely think we should get by Halloween safely. Give me a break, please!

I could be wrong about these holiday commercials coming earlier each year and it's only a false perception, as I have been told. I am going to find out. The date of this years first Christmas commercial seen by me is now documented (24 Oct.) on this blog. I will watch this in the coming years and see if there is a slow creeping towards summertime.

True Meaning of Vegetarian

- I just discovered the true definition of a vegetarian -

VEG-E-TAR-I-AN: noun; old Indian word for bad deer hunter.

Sandstone County * Episode Fourty-Six

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

There has been a major crime wave, of late, in Sandstone County. The local grocer has been fuming over the disappearance of a large quantity of his shopping carts. Not willing to let a crime spree of this magnitude tarnish the great name of his jurisdiction, Deputy Hidrent is working overtime to put an end to these thefts. It has not been in vain, as the courageous officer has already located one of the carts.

It appears to have been vandalised but, Deputy Hidrent swears he will bring down the dirtbag criminals who are responsible and punish them to the full extent of the law. He will be survelling the Sandstone Grocery Emporium during the next four nights between the hours of 7:00 pm and 6:00 am. If anyone has any information on this crime they may report it to Deputy Hidrent during these hours. He will be in the cedar bushes on the north end of the lot.

Everybody's Getting Into It

Why didn't I think of this?

Add A Caption 3

Anyone have a caption for this photo?

Ok, this was tough.
I didn't expect so many great posts. I had to chose one, however, sooo
I'm going with -

Announcement: Stairway to Heaven is currently closed.
Please take the highway instead.
a contribution from matt.

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY US PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GAVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq Regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2 Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come.

If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

sent to me by a friend
my sentiments exactly

Sandstone County * Episode Fourty-Five

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

In the far northern section of Sandstone County a woman and a man were involved in a car accident. Both of their cars were totally demolished but amazingly neither of them were hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

The man slowly crawled out of his vehicle and immediately went to check on the occupant of the other car. He arrived at her door to find her engaged in a phone conversation. After several attempts he finally muscled the jambed car door open. "Are you alright", he asks the woman.

"I am fine", she replies as she packs her phone away in a purse, "and you?"

"I'm OK," he says, as he helps her from the badly damaged vehicle. Only now does he notice how stunningly beautiful she is!

They then stand awkwardly on the shoulder for a time until finally she breaks the silence. "So you're a man," she states, "that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends. Very, close friends."

Flattered, the man nervously replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God. Who am I to argue with God"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes a long drink. He then extends the bottle out to the woman. She gestures no and tells him he should have a little more to settle his nerves. Thinking he must be the luckiest man alive he obliges with another long swig. Once more he is enticed into tipping the bottle before she finally accepts it from him. She immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "aren't you having any?"

Looking over his shoulder she replies with a smile, "No. Thank You. I think I'll just wait for the police....

Who Wants A Sigmonster ?

The Sigma 300-800 f/5.6 EX APO HSM AF is the longest zoom lens for the 35mm format. It is, also, the heaviest at 12.9 pounds. Ouch. This toy even focuses down to an amazing twenty (20) feet.

So, who wants one?

Ah, did I mention, it will take $6,200. (street price) to get one in your camera bag. Is your bag big enough? Is your wallet?

Sandstone County * Episode Fourty-Four

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

Deputy Hidrent pulled a guy over for speeding yesterday and they had the following exchange:

Officer Hidrent: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer Hidrent: OK, dirtbag may I see the owner's registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer Hidrent: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer Hidrent: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer Hidrent: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Upon hearing this, Deputy Hidrent immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation.


Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too

Are We the Baddies?

A couple of SS Officers in contemplation.

Can Someone Tell Me?

Can someone tell me how second-hand smoke from a 2 inch long and 1/4 inch diameter cigarette strikes more fear in the ultra-liberal, anti-smoking Nazi establishment than the smoke from a 500HP engine constantly winding it's way throughout their smog induced city?

Granular Deer Scents

It's that time of year where hunting, esp. deer hunting, starts to weigh heavily on my mind. During this time, I am usually thinking of and eager to try a new product or technique which may increase my hunting success or enjoyment. I recently heard about, a product called MDR 24/Seven granular scents. While being sceptical, I am somewhat curious about it's claims and think I may give this product a try.

It is claimed that these granules don’t evaporate, sink in or freeze. They are said to be weatherproof. Now, the popular scents that most of us use immediately start to diminish in potency upon application. The scent continues to evaporate throughout the day. It isn't long before the scent is virtually undetectable by even a deer. What good is this? Yet, when applying the scent you leave your own wonderful human smell behind which is said to last for 24 hours.

MDR 24/Seven is said to last several days and keeps scent in the area around the clock (or 24 seven). The Dominant Buck and Estrus Doe scents come from glands and urine and Early Buck is all gland based, no urine. This product is granular and comes in a shaker bottle.. It also comes Unscented and you can pour your own favorite scent in the shaker to make a longer lasting scent. A 4-oz bottle of unscented product will make 10-ozs of MDR granules.

It seems to me this product might be worthwhile. If it's that long-lasting I won't have to trample my scrap areas to reapply the scent over and over. Has anyone tried this product? I may just test these granuals this year.

The Sentinel

I just finished watching The Sentinel. It turned out to be a decent movie but, it could have been much better. Michael Douglas played the main character, Pete Garrison, and did quite well. Kim Basinger made an excellent and believable first lady. Eva Longoria, although excellent eye candy, was just not convincing in her role as Special Agent Jill Marin and seemed totally out of place. Sadly, the president was played by David Rasche who's character in the film was totally non-descript. He was like the one you would see at a party sitting by himself in the corner. You hardly even knew he was there.

There seemed to be an uncomfortable scramble to cram in details in nearly every scene. The whole movie seems very rushed. Yet the audience is given precious little information on the back story leaving you scratching your head for explanations of what might have started the whole plot. We don't even get to learn why the bad guys want to kill the president. We learn almost nothing of the bad guys. In fact character development, all around, was almost non-existent. Isn't this what stories are about?

Don't expect too much and you may enjoy watching this movie.

released 2006

Ordered Paintshop Pro Photo XI

I ordered Corel Paint Shop Pro Photo XI tonight. I am out the door for work in just a couple of minutes, so playing with it will have to wait until my return.

Add A Caption 2

Who has a caption for this photo?
OK, here's an entry.
Not exactly what I had in mind for a caption but,
it's creative and I like it.
So, from AndersonNation we have -

From the rising of the sun in New York City
To the sunset on the docks of big L.A.
Rides the hero of our highways
Across our beloved land
He holds the life of our nation in his hand
Thunder Chicken rolls across America
650 miles every day
One rig, eighteen wheels
Forty tons of rolling steel
Thunder Chicken, you're the pride of the U.S.A.

A Unique Vision

I am hesitant to even describe the work of Angela M. Ferreira but she is an amazing artist with a unique vision. Her site is a must-see if you have an interest in the art of photography or in exploring the human psyche. Angela was born in Portugal and has traveled throughout Europe and beyond, in her quest for subjects and material. Her photographs are astonishing, to say the least. With her work she has created several self-assigned (I assume) projects which are nutrients for the mind and the soul. They appear to be crafted by a master but directed by an angel.

In one such project, 'Studies about mirror', her subjects were to draw or paint self-portraits with a mirror as their visionary tool. All of these subjects were mentally handicapped. Angela masterfully merges her vision of them creating visions of themselves, with their versions of themselves. The result stirs the heart and exercises the mind.

The presentation of her work is, also, distinctive and worthy of praise. She creatively uses flash presentations to engage the viewer in an stunning visual treat. Now, instead of me tripping along any further, in my inadequate descriptions of Angela's world, why don't you check out her site for yourself. If you're tired of the mundane, don't miss any corners of this impressive body of work.

Sandstone County * Episode Forty-Three

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

Yesterday, an anonymous phone call was received at the Sandstone Dispatch. Here is the transcript.

Caller: "Is this the sheriff's department?"
Dispatch: "Yes sir. This is Sandstone County Dispatch. How can I help you?"
Caller: "I'm calling to report on my neighbor Dirk Baggs. I have reason to believe he is hiding a large amount of cocaine in his firewood."
Dispatch: "In his firewood, sir? Are you sure about this?"
Caller: "I'm very sure. I've seen it with my own eyes. I hate to narc but, this is just wrong!"
Dispatch: "What are you saying, sir? What do you mean by, in his firewood?"
Caller: "He hollows it out, man. It's clever. He puts little plugs in each piece and you can't even tell. I mean, it's ingenious. He told me he plans on selling firewood all through the heating season, man. Get it? I'm tellin' ya it's ingenious. I don't approve or nothing but, it is kinda smart, man. You see what I'm saying? He, also, told me he made a killing selling firewood last year. I'm sure you know what he's talking about. I wish I would have though about it. Hey man, I don't mean it that way. You know what I mean.
Dispatch: "Well, thank you very much for the call, sir. We'll have it checked out."
Caller: "Hey, no problem, man. I just want to do the right thing."
Dispatch: "Trust me sir, you have done the right thing. You're an excellent citizen and we appreciate people like you. Thank you again and goodbye."
Caller: "OK, man, goodbye."

Early this morning, after a search warrant was obtained, Sandstone County Deputies descended upon the Bagg's household. Led by Deputy Hidrent they search the area where the firewood is kept. Deputy Hidrent was quoted as saying, "your butt is finally mine, dirtbag. There's no getting out of this one." Using axes, the group of deputies start to bust open the firewood, when they are halted by Deputy Hidrent. "Stand aside fellas, this bust is all mine." He then proceeded to split every piece of wood wide open, while the others looked on. With each cord of wood his swings became more frantic, until finally the last log was layed bare. Cursing and wiping the sweat from his brow Deputy Hidrent finally screamed, "there's no damn drugs here!"
After further cursing and threatening, they slowly, all left the scene.
Much later, according to Mr. Anonymous, he called Dirk at home and here is how he related that call.

The phone rings at Dirk's house. "Hey, Dirk! Did the sheriffs visit you today?"
"Yeah. How did you know?"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep the fools sure did"
"Happy birthday, Buddy"