Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026
Early this morning a man was speeding through Sandstone County. He crossed the bridge at the west side of Pine when Officer Hidrent, parked at the far end, noticed him. Deputy Hidrent promptly pulls him over and walks up to the vehicle. As he approaches the man rolls down his window. "Do you know why I pulled you over," asks Deputy Hidrent?
"Yes sir," replied the driver, "I was speeding, but I'm a doctor and have to get to the hospital."
Hidrent had heard this a hundred times, and asked, "What exactly do you do, Doctor?"
The man replies, "Why, I'm a rectum stretcher, sir."
The deputy hadn't heard of this before and replies "What is that, exactly?"
The man explains, "What I do is work the fingers of one hand into the rectum one by one - then the next hand until I have stretched the rectum to about four and a half feet."
Hidrent then asks, "What the hell do you do with a four and a half-foot asshole?"
The man replies, "Stick him at the end of a bridge with a radar gun, of course."
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