Viking No Show

Nothing to report on the Vikings today, as they did not show up for the game.

More Family Testosterone !

Welcome to Nicolo Muraro. He entered this world at 3:29pm on 29 October 2006, in North Carolina. He is my fifth (5th) grandchild and only my second (2nd) grandson, with another grandson on the way. Nicolo will forever share the birthday of my deceased brother Marty who was born on the same date in 1963.

Sandstone County * Episode Fourty-Seven

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

Three blondes were attempting to change a light bulb. After having severe problems one of them decides to call Sandstone County Dispatch.

Blonde: We need help.
Dispatch: What is the problem, ma'am?
Blonde: We were trying to change a light bulb . . .
Dispatch: This number is for emergencies only, ma'am.
Blonde : But this is an emergency!
Dispatch: Ok, Ok. Let's see. Did you put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Dispatch: Hmmmm. Is the power in the house on?
Blonde: Of course.
Dispatch: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Dispatch: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Dispatch: Again, this number is only for emergencies! What is the nature of your problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
Dispatch: Goodbye.

Add A Caption 4

How about a caption for this photo. Anyone?

Wow, Matt gets two in a row!
Congratulations Matt.
I love this one.

Matt said...

"I suck at lollipops."

GREAT TRUTHS

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

• 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptiz cats!
• 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair!
• 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
• 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
• 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
• 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
• 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
• 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
• 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
• 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

• 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
• 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
• 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
• 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
• 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
• 6) Middle age is when yo u choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

• 1) Growing old is mandatory; Growing up is optional.
• 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
• 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
• 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
• 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
• 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
• 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

• 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
• 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
• 3) You are Santa Claus.
• 4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

• At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
• At age 12 success is. . . having friends.
• At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
• At age 35 success is . .having money.
• At age 50 success is . . having money.
• At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
• At age 75 success is . . .having friends.
• At age 80 success is . . .not peeing in your pants.

sent to me by my daughter

Give Me A Break

Last night while watching "The Unit" (a great show by the way), I got my annual jolt of rampant commercialism. Sure, it happens every year. Sure, it's usual to complain that it comes earlier every year but now they are really pushing it. I am beyond sick of it! If you haven't guessed yet, I saw my first Christmas commercial yesterday.

Let's see where we are in this. Yesterday was October 24th. Halloween would still be a week away. Thanksgiving is still 30 days away, making that a full month. Christmas is 62 days away or longer than 2 months. Argh. How long will it be before these commercials are pushed ahead of Labor Day. Don't laugh, it's probably coming.

I think this even has Santa scratching his head in disbelief. I just want to get through the deer season without having to think about Christmas and it's commercialism and I surely think we should get by Halloween safely. Give me a break, please!

I could be wrong about these holiday commercials coming earlier each year and it's only a false perception, as I have been told. I am going to find out. The date of this years first Christmas commercial seen by me is now documented (24 Oct.) on this blog. I will watch this in the coming years and see if there is a slow creeping towards summertime.

True Meaning of Vegetarian

- I just discovered the true definition of a vegetarian -

VEG-E-TAR-I-AN: noun; old Indian word for bad deer hunter.

Sandstone County * Episode Fourty-Six

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

There has been a major crime wave, of late, in Sandstone County. The local grocer has been fuming over the disappearance of a large quantity of his shopping carts. Not willing to let a crime spree of this magnitude tarnish the great name of his jurisdiction, Deputy Hidrent is working overtime to put an end to these thefts. It has not been in vain, as the courageous officer has already located one of the carts.

It appears to have been vandalised but, Deputy Hidrent swears he will bring down the dirtbag criminals who are responsible and punish them to the full extent of the law. He will be survelling the Sandstone Grocery Emporium during the next four nights between the hours of 7:00 pm and 6:00 am. If anyone has any information on this crime they may report it to Deputy Hidrent during these hours. He will be in the cedar bushes on the north end of the lot.

Everybody's Getting Into It

Why didn't I think of this?

Add A Caption 3

Anyone have a caption for this photo?

Ok, this was tough.
I didn't expect so many great posts. I had to chose one, however, sooo
I'm going with -

Announcement: Stairway to Heaven is currently closed.
Please take the highway instead.
a contribution from matt.

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY US PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GAVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq Regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2 Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come.

If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

sent to me by a friend
my sentiments exactly

Sandstone County * Episode Fourty-Five

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

In the far northern section of Sandstone County a woman and a man were involved in a car accident. Both of their cars were totally demolished but amazingly neither of them were hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

The man slowly crawled out of his vehicle and immediately went to check on the occupant of the other car. He arrived at her door to find her engaged in a phone conversation. After several attempts he finally muscled the jambed car door open. "Are you alright", he asks the woman.

"I am fine", she replies as she packs her phone away in a purse, "and you?"

"I'm OK," he says, as he helps her from the badly damaged vehicle. Only now does he notice how stunningly beautiful she is!

They then stand awkwardly on the shoulder for a time until finally she breaks the silence. "So you're a man," she states, "that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends. Very, close friends."

Flattered, the man nervously replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God. Who am I to argue with God"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes a long drink. He then extends the bottle out to the woman. She gestures no and tells him he should have a little more to settle his nerves. Thinking he must be the luckiest man alive he obliges with another long swig. Once more he is enticed into tipping the bottle before she finally accepts it from him. She immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "aren't you having any?"

Looking over his shoulder she replies with a smile, "No. Thank You. I think I'll just wait for the police....

Who Wants A Sigmonster ?

The Sigma 300-800 f/5.6 EX APO HSM AF is the longest zoom lens for the 35mm format. It is, also, the heaviest at 12.9 pounds. Ouch. This toy even focuses down to an amazing twenty (20) feet.

So, who wants one?

Ah, did I mention, it will take $6,200. (street price) to get one in your camera bag. Is your bag big enough? Is your wallet?

Sandstone County * Episode Fourty-Four

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

Deputy Hidrent pulled a guy over for speeding yesterday and they had the following exchange:

Officer Hidrent: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer Hidrent: OK, dirtbag may I see the owner's registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer Hidrent: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer Hidrent: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer Hidrent: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Upon hearing this, Deputy Hidrent immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation.


Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too

Are We the Baddies?

A couple of SS Officers in contemplation.

Can Someone Tell Me?

Can someone tell me how second-hand smoke from a 2 inch long and 1/4 inch diameter cigarette strikes more fear in the ultra-liberal, anti-smoking Nazi establishment than the smoke from a 500HP engine constantly winding it's way throughout their smog induced city?

Granular Deer Scents

It's that time of year where hunting, esp. deer hunting, starts to weigh heavily on my mind. During this time, I am usually thinking of and eager to try a new product or technique which may increase my hunting success or enjoyment. I recently heard about, a product called MDR 24/Seven granular scents. While being sceptical, I am somewhat curious about it's claims and think I may give this product a try.

It is claimed that these granules don’t evaporate, sink in or freeze. They are said to be weatherproof. Now, the popular scents that most of us use immediately start to diminish in potency upon application. The scent continues to evaporate throughout the day. It isn't long before the scent is virtually undetectable by even a deer. What good is this? Yet, when applying the scent you leave your own wonderful human smell behind which is said to last for 24 hours.

MDR 24/Seven is said to last several days and keeps scent in the area around the clock (or 24 seven). The Dominant Buck and Estrus Doe scents come from glands and urine and Early Buck is all gland based, no urine. This product is granular and comes in a shaker bottle.. It also comes Unscented and you can pour your own favorite scent in the shaker to make a longer lasting scent. A 4-oz bottle of unscented product will make 10-ozs of MDR granules.

It seems to me this product might be worthwhile. If it's that long-lasting I won't have to trample my scrap areas to reapply the scent over and over. Has anyone tried this product? I may just test these granuals this year.

The Sentinel

I just finished watching The Sentinel. It turned out to be a decent movie but, it could have been much better. Michael Douglas played the main character, Pete Garrison, and did quite well. Kim Basinger made an excellent and believable first lady. Eva Longoria, although excellent eye candy, was just not convincing in her role as Special Agent Jill Marin and seemed totally out of place. Sadly, the president was played by David Rasche who's character in the film was totally non-descript. He was like the one you would see at a party sitting by himself in the corner. You hardly even knew he was there.

There seemed to be an uncomfortable scramble to cram in details in nearly every scene. The whole movie seems very rushed. Yet the audience is given precious little information on the back story leaving you scratching your head for explanations of what might have started the whole plot. We don't even get to learn why the bad guys want to kill the president. We learn almost nothing of the bad guys. In fact character development, all around, was almost non-existent. Isn't this what stories are about?

Don't expect too much and you may enjoy watching this movie.

released 2006

Ordered Paintshop Pro Photo XI

I ordered Corel Paint Shop Pro Photo XI tonight. I am out the door for work in just a couple of minutes, so playing with it will have to wait until my return.

Add A Caption 2

Who has a caption for this photo?
OK, here's an entry.
Not exactly what I had in mind for a caption but,
it's creative and I like it.
So, from AndersonNation we have -

From the rising of the sun in New York City
To the sunset on the docks of big L.A.
Rides the hero of our highways
Across our beloved land
He holds the life of our nation in his hand
Thunder Chicken rolls across America
650 miles every day
One rig, eighteen wheels
Forty tons of rolling steel
Thunder Chicken, you're the pride of the U.S.A.