Mean Mothers

Mean Moms & Grandmas
Someday when my children are old enough

to understand

the logic that motivates a parent,

I will tell them, as my Mean ole Mom told me:

I loved you enough . . .

to ask where you were going,

with whom,
and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough

to be silent

and let you discover that your

new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough

to stand over you for two hours

while you cleaned your room,

a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough

to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes.

Children must learn that their parents

aren't perfect.

I loved you enough

to let you assume the responsibility

for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh

they almost broke my heart.

But most of all,

I loved you enough . . . to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all.

I'm glad I won them,

because in the end

you won, too.

And someday when your children

are old enough to understand

the logic that motivates parents,

you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean?

I know mine was.

We had the meanest mother in the whole world!

While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we

had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch,

we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother

fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing

where we were at all times.

You'd think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were,

and what we were doing with them.

She insisted that if we said

we would be gone for an hour,

we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it,

but she had the nerve
to break the Child Labor Laws

by making us work.

We had to wash the dishes, make the beds,

learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,

empty the trash
and all sorts of cruel jobs.

I think she would lie awake at night

thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers,

she could read our minds

and had eyes in the back of her head.

Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends

just honk the horn when they drove up.

They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them.

While everyon else could
date when they were 12 or 13,

we had to wait until we were 16 .

Because of our mother

we missed out

on lots of things other kids experienced.

None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting,

vandalizing other's property

or ever arrested for any crime.

It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home,

we are all educated,
honest adults.

We are doing our best to be mean
parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

emailed to me by my daughter

well actually it was probably meant for my wife