Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Make Sure You Have a Clear Mortgage Title
Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.
A New Orleans Lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):
A New Orleans Lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
(Actual letter): "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title.
While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the US, from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.
For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to US ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.
The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition.
Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA.
I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?"
The loan was approved.
emailed to me by a friend
^
Labels:
Consumer Issues,
Human Interest,
Humor,
Omphaloskepsis
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
The History of Taps
In Observance of Memorial Day
Of all the military bugle calls, none
is so easily recognized or more apt
to render emotion than Taps. Up to
the Civil War, the traditional call at
day's end was a tune, borrowed
from the French, called Lights Out.
In July of 1862, in the aftermath of
the bloody Seven Days battles, hard on the loss of 600 men
and wounded himself, Union General Daniel Adams
Butterfield called the brigade bugler to his tent. He thought
"Lights Out" was too formal and he wished to honor his men.
Oliver Wilcox Norton, the bugler, tells the story, "...showing
me some notes on a staff written in pencil on the back of an
envelope, (he) asked me to sound them on my bugle. I did this
several times, playing the music as written. He changed it
somewhat, lengthening some notes and shortening others, but
retaining the melody as he first gave it to me. After getting it to
his satisfaction, he directed me to sound that call for Taps
thereafter in place of the regulation call. The music was beautiful
on that still summer night and was heard far beyond the
limits of our Brigade. The next day I was visited by several
buglers from neighboring Brigades, asking for copies of the
music which I gladly furnished. The call was gradually taken
up through the Army of the Potomac."
This more emotive and powerful Taps was soon adopted
throughout the military. In 1874 It was officially recognized by
the U.S. Army. It became standard at military funeral ceremonies
in 1891. There is something singularly beautiful and appropriate
in the music of this wonderful call. Its strains are
melancholy, yet full of rest and peace. Its echoes linger in the
heart long after its tones have ceased to vibrate in the air.
- from an article by Master Sergeant Jari AVillanueva,USAF
Of all the military bugle calls, none
is so easily recognized or more apt
to render emotion than Taps. Up to
the Civil War, the traditional call at
day's end was a tune, borrowed
from the French, called Lights Out.
In July of 1862, in the aftermath of
the bloody Seven Days battles, hard on the loss of 600 men
and wounded himself, Union General Daniel Adams
Butterfield called the brigade bugler to his tent. He thought
"Lights Out" was too formal and he wished to honor his men.
Oliver Wilcox Norton, the bugler, tells the story, "...showing
me some notes on a staff written in pencil on the back of an
envelope, (he) asked me to sound them on my bugle. I did this
several times, playing the music as written. He changed it
somewhat, lengthening some notes and shortening others, but
retaining the melody as he first gave it to me. After getting it to
his satisfaction, he directed me to sound that call for Taps
thereafter in place of the regulation call. The music was beautiful
on that still summer night and was heard far beyond the
limits of our Brigade. The next day I was visited by several
buglers from neighboring Brigades, asking for copies of the
music which I gladly furnished. The call was gradually taken
up through the Army of the Potomac."
This more emotive and powerful Taps was soon adopted
throughout the military. In 1874 It was officially recognized by
the U.S. Army. It became standard at military funeral ceremonies
in 1891. There is something singularly beautiful and appropriate
in the music of this wonderful call. Its strains are
melancholy, yet full of rest and peace. Its echoes linger in the
heart long after its tones have ceased to vibrate in the air.
- from an article by Master Sergeant Jari AVillanueva,USAF
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Spend Your Refund Check Wisely
GOVERNMENT REFUND CHECKS
Please spend wisely!
Please spend wisely!
The federal government is sending each and everyone of us a $600 rebate.
- If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.
- If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
- If we purchase a computer it will go to India.
- If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico,Honduras, and Guatemala.
- If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan.
- If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan . . .
and none of it will help the American economy.
So perhaps, the only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes, weed, beer, cigarettes, whiskey, and tattoos, since these are the only products still produced in the United States.
^
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Sandstone County * Episode Sixty-Two
Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All
Dirtbag Criminals by 2026
Dirtbag Criminals by 2026
Pine City has recently instituted a massive program to clean up the city. The popular program is catching on and Sandstone County is currently undertaking similar steps to spruce up their jurisdictions. Proper disposal sites will be liberally dispersed throughout the county. All residents are encouraged to participate by placing all refuse into their respective containers and are reminded, "please, do not mix up waste products and recyclables." If we all work together we can have a clean city/county once again.
^
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Thursday, May 08, 2008
The Road of Death
You are about to see the most amazing road ever.
COME WITH ME . . .
on a Very, Very High Way !
In Bolivia , South America
Stremnaya Road is nicknamed 'The Road of Death'
and it will take no convincing as to how appropriate that is . . .
Buckle Up . . . here we go!
COME WITH ME . . .
on a Very, Very High Way !
In Bolivia , South America
Stremnaya Road is nicknamed 'The Road of Death'
and it will take no convincing as to how appropriate that is . . .
Buckle Up . . . here we go!
Seen Enough???
Oh, No . . . Your Trip Isn't Over Yet!
Check that your seat belt is fastened one more time . . .
Oh, No . . . Your Trip Isn't Over Yet!
Check that your seat belt is fastened one more time . . .
Get Right Down into Low For This Hairpin
After That Ride, Tell Me Honestly?.
Are You Going To Complain About
Your Lousy, Traffic - Congested
Super Highways Ever Again???
^
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Dirt for Dessert
Now, I thought this was interesting. What this photo shows is actually pudding. Yes, edible pudding. Under all that dirt, which is actually crushed Oreo Cookies, is a type of pudding concoction. The colorful things you see sticking out of the dirt are worms - edible gummy worms. I have seen this dish prepared before but, this little extra makes it kind of cute (issh what am I doing - I hate that word). The extras are the worms and the clever use of the toy wheelbarrow. I've only seen the dessert made in a regular bowl and no worms added. What a neat extra touch. It's kinda cute, I mean neat.
^
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