New Beta Blogger Advice

If anyone is planning on using the Beta Blogger with it's new templates, here is one piece of advice. Do not publish your labels with capitols. Use small case when creating your labels. At some point if you used capitalization the template will revert to small caps for all your labels. You will then have two (2) of each label listed in your sidebar. Argh.

Note the labels in my sidebar. I created a new label for this post (blogging) using small case and it occurs only once. I, also, used an old label for this post (computing) and it occurs twice. Once with capitalization and once without. Each instance shows it's own number of occurrences, also. My label list is long enough already. Imagine the mess this will create in the sidebar with dual labels for everything. And each with it's own count.

I wish I would have known about this issue before I started labeling everything. I think I must go back and manually change all my labels. Damn. I hope this helps others before they get in too deep.

Slow Geezer

Blonde Geometry Test

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

The real reason we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse ...You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians -- it creates a hostile work environment

Also, sent to me by my friend
I couldn't agree more

THE CONSTITUTION

THE CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.

Sent to me by a friend
I obviously agree

The Good Wife's Guide

Here is an interesting newspaper clipping my friend sent me. It reminded me of another clipping I had in my files. So I located my version and decided to post them both here to show what the attitudes of the 'glory days' were.

Ah, the good ole days. I wax nostalgic.
* note: I could have cropped this article and thus
made it more readable but, I prefer to show it in it's
original setting to give it more credence.
Zoom in if you must.

Alas, today's woman is nothing like this. If you find that you can not properly control your woman we have this covered, also. Merely apply for the licence below. The fee for said licence is $120.00 per year or $2000.00 for a lifetime permit. The choice is yours.

ADDENDUM:If anyone notices a lack of postings to this blog in the coming days it will probably mean that my dear, wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, caring, loving, and forgiving better-half has read this post.

Cow Tracking

Does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

Season Finale of the 4400

The season for the 4400 just ended and it looks like season four is a reality. Sweet.

I will not go into much plot detail as all you need to know can be found here. I will comment on the re-taking of Alana, though, because I have heard many people questioning her new disappearance. My theory is that she was snatched for her 'attempted' interfering in the interrogation of Shawn. Even though, she did not get the chance to do this it is clear that she agreed to give it a try. I think this was not in the cards and it possibly angered the powers that be. Perhaps this was not part of her intended purpose and she was recalled for a little tweaking or maybe even a little punishment. Just a thought.

There were many plot twists, as one would expect here, but the ending was simply masterful. Kevin turns, looks directly at the TV viewer (aka you and I) and very directly poses the big question - Would you take the shot? We are given the opportunity to take the promicin serum, which will either give you 'a 4400 power' (telekinesis, precognitive visions, the ability to heal or drain life, etc) or kill you with a massive brain hemorrhage. The odds of one or the other happening are exactly fifty (50) percent.

Do you want the shot?

Iraq Death Rate

If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000
soldiers.


The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the U.S. Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington immediately.

Sandstone County * Episode Thirty-Four

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

A family (names withtheld) had an encounter with Sandstone officials yesterday and suprisingly found themselves in the can. Details of the incident are a little sketchy at this point but, the term beligerent kept cropping up in our discreet inquiries. The apprehended man was quoted as saying "damm, they don't mess around in this county. They are serious" He, also, 'claimed' they have been held for three days already, "for no dad-burned reason." Bail has even been denied. Rumors of a lawsuit are, also, flying around. County 'officials' refused to comment on this case and are being unusually secretive at this point.

There seems to be much more going on here than what meets the eye. We will continue to dilegently investigate, however, and will update everyone as information becomes available.

Pluto is NO LONGER a Planet

Wow, nothing stays the same except change. I just heard that Pluto will no longer be classified as a planet. We learned this stuff way back in grade school and now they are going to change this on us. It's impossible to keep up.

Read about it here

Pet Names

An old lady is walking around in a supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Crisssssssco!"

Soon a store clerk approaches and says, "Lady, the Crisco is in aisle D."

The old lady replies, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff. I'm calling my husband."

The clerk is astonished. "Your husband's name is Crisco?"

The old lady answers, "Oh no, no, no. I only call him that when we're out in public."

"I see," said the clerk. "What do you call him at home?"

"Lard ass."

Sandstone County * Episode Thirty-Three

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026


They come real bright in Sandstone County!
I guess only non-authorized people are allowed

Sandstone County Episode Thirty-Two

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female Sandstone County Deputy, who was also a blonde. The deputy asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The deputy replied, "its square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror looked at it and handed it to the officer. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde deputy looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.

FrontPage magazine.com :: Iran's Day of Terror? by Robert Spencer

Wow, pretty heavy stuff. Whether you believe something big is going to happen on the 22nd or not - you've got to believe something will go down before too long. With this attitude and the state of the world today it seems inevitable. During the beginning of the 'cold war' people where quite concerned about the future of the world. Are people paying attention now? I say there is much more to be concerned about now.

FrontPage magazine.com :: Iran's Day of Terror? by Robert Spencer

Teaching math through the decades

Teaching Math In 1950
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?


Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?


Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.


Teaching Math In 1990
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees?


Teaching Math In 2006
El hachero vende un camion carga por $100. La cuesta de production es.............

Sent to me by a friend
A good one - or it would't be posted here

A Famous Dear Abby Letter

Dear Abby:

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also since he lost his job two years ago he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does is sit around the living room in his underwear and watch TV, while I work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me. He keeps calling me a lesbian. What should I do?
Signed, Clueless.


Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him. For Pete's sake, you're a United States Senator from New York now -- you don't need him anymore.

Sent to me by a friend
A good one - or it would't be posted here

Murder on the Disoriented Express

Yesterday, my wife and I joined the crew for a fun and hilarious evening on the North Shore Scenic Railroad. It was a 'dinner-theater' performance on an actual train ride. If you can afford the somewhat steep price of this marvelous night out, I highly recommend it.

A limited number of passengers are selected to actually perform with the professional cast. Yours truly was one of the few. I was chosen to play the part of Colonel Boris Schmirnoff, one of the several murder suspects. I bellowed out my best Russian accent during the night and was told by many that I was quite convincing. I've not had this much fun in a long time.

Traveling by train can be fun, romantic, and sometimes dangerous. Take the case of the North Shore Scenic Railroad's Elegant Dinner Train. A group of people, most of whom are strangers to one another, sit down to a gourmet meal in the beautiful Lake of the Isles dining car. As the train pulls out of the Depot in Duluth and heads onto the Lakefront Line, the guests in the dining car meet one another and find that there is something just a little off balance. An air of mystery surrounds the "alter-egos" of some of the passengers. To quote Sherlock Holmes, "The game is afoot."

The evening will begin as audience members are assigned new identities for the drama. Some will even become suspects for the crime! As the mystery unfolds, a murder occurs and the audience must figure out who has committed the crime. It was a fast-paced and funny performance that Upstage Productions has been perfecting for over a decade.

Almost as if planned to the exact minute, the train crosses Railroad Street and the diesel engine's horn blares out its warning! One of the passengers has met a cruel and quite fatal end. For the remainder of the evening, your job is to solve the crime and deliver the guilty party to authorities by the time the train returns to the station.

Of course, because this is a sophisticated and elegant evening, dinner and cocktails will continue as if there is nothing wrong. Fortunately, there is a world-famous detective on board to assist in finding the guilty party. In fact, several of them. Murder on the Disoriented Express" is so complex, they called in the expertise of super sleuths Charlie Chan, Hercule Poirot, Sherlock Holmes, Lt. Columbo and even Charlies Angels! It's an evening of mirth, merriment, and mayhem on The Disoriented Express! Be the first to solve the crime and win the prize!

All dates depart at 6:30pm for a 2.5 hour excursion.

Juneau County Rodeo

Good Times!


My wife and I attended the Juneau County Rodeo in Mauston, Wisconsin yesterday the 16th. She participated in rodeo events as a child and I had never even been to a rodeo. I have seen competitions on ESPN and really got into it. I decided it was time I saw one in person, so we drove down to Mauston to check it out.

It was a great time and we are both glad we took the five hour drive to see the Three Hills P.R.C.A. Rodeo. The events and the competitors were awesome. Beside the professional competitions, there were events for the local children that were really fun. These future cowboys rode sheep as well as the big boys rode their horses and steers. There were the typical rodeo clowns interjecting humor into the festivities. While the clowns were generally funny, sometimes the jokes got a little too corny for my tastes.

My only regret is the late hour in which the event was held. It made almost impossible to take a decent photo. I am certain a pro with fast glass, more experience, and greater access would do alright. With my restricted access and limited equipment it just wasn't going to happen. Still it was very, worthwhile attending and I'm scouting for more rodeo events in the future. Perhaps there will be better photo opportunities. Actually, there has to be better photo opportunities.

We'll see ya all at the next rodeo,
OK pardners.

If you would like to purchase any photos go to Printroom and look under Galleries

My New Lowepro Mini Trekker AW

I just received the Lowepro Mini Trekker AW for my birthday/anniversary. Unlike the photo, my pack is forest green and black. It is lightweight, compact and holds a surprising amount of gear. It includes an integrated quick-release tripod holder, attachment loops for optional accessories, compression straps and lots of pockets (you can never have enough pockets). The ergonomic harness features wide, padded shoulder straps and a sternum strap.

This pack was desperately needed. When I sold my non-digital gear I, also, sold all my camera cases except my Pelican hard case. You don't know how much you need something until it's gone. I will put this new pack to good use.

My wife surprised me here. Not so much that she purchased this for me but, because of her attitude when we were picking it out. It was a complete role-reversal for us. She kept trying to get me to choose a more expensive model. I did not want the other pack. The other case had a pull-out handle and wheels on the bottom, much like some luggage in use today. I had no desire for this 'rolling' feature. This other pack held more gear and her logic, I guess, was quite simple. She is afraid that I will outgrow the Mini Trekker before too long and would then press her for the purchase of a new camera bag. "Better to by the larger one now than to have to purchase a second one later", she stated. I understand her thinking, but very much preferred the Mini Trekker. Like I said, this is a complete role-reversal as I am always trying to entice her into the better (albeit more expensive) items.

I worry, not so much in the outgrowing of my camera pack but, in it's overall usage. You see, I am more likely to desire another bag based on it's usage for a given task. I have had many camera cases over the years and 'usually' purchased another case because it was more functional in some way. Over these years, I have found out that there is no such thing as the perfect camera gear carrying system. If one item excels at something - it's competitor excels in some other area. If anyone finds a perfect system - let me know. In the mean time - I will enjoy my new Mini Trekker.

Telemarketers Beware

This one speaks volumes!

Two Arabs And A Marine

Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a coke."

"Don't get up," said the Marine, "I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you." As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marine's shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too." Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone, the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?"

What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals

Here is something I've found on my hard drive in a very old archive,
Even though I didn't write it I thought I should revive,
What I have found to be delightful and full of lots of charm,
But if you've seen this post before, I do not mean no harm !

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icons put your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on your cable on the gable at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!

How Anyone Can Justify Taking Pictures

Adherents to any religion or belief-system can justify taking pictures:

The Communist: Everyone owns one camera; all pictures are equal in merit and belong to the State.
The Capitalist: The one who dies with the most cameras, WINS!
The Environmentalist: Cameras can be used to record nature, except those with batteries.
The Darwinist: Pictures are not created, they evolve.
The Zen Master: A photograph of a tree is not a tree unless it is a tree, photographed.
The Pentecostallist: Hallelujah for talking picture frames.
The Catholic: It's OK to buy a new camera as long as you feel guilty.
The Hari Krishna: Photography while dancing is allowed but use the non-tambourine hand and a fast shutter speed.
The Existentialist: Photography is boring and your pictures bore others. Good.
The Confucian: A camera dropped in the sea is no longer dry.
The Christian Scientist: I am a camera.
The Muslim: It is only permissible to take pictures of patterns.
The Jew: He who bought his camera for the lowest price, wins.
The Jehovah's Witness: Try selling your prints door-to-door.
The Spiritualist: Look for ghosts in clouds, trees and window reflections.
The Voodooist: Keep sharp objects away from self-portraits.
The Buddhist: The desire for approval, a grant or an exhibition causes suffering.
The Fundamentalist: I don't know anything about it but if it gives pleasure it should be banned.
The Aryan: Blacks and whites should not appear together in the same picture.
The Politically Correct: All colors must be equally represented in every picture.
The Conservative: Only the rich and powerful can be trusted to take photographs.
The Liberal: The Government should provide free cameras to all.
The Survivalist: A camera, especially the Nikon F, makes a serviceable hammer and the lens can start fires on sunny days.
The Atheist: The spiritual does not exist so the camera cannot steal the soul.

A bit of humor from Bill Jay's EndNotes, a regular feature of LensWork magazine.

Sandstone County Episode Thirty-One

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

We want everyone to welcome the new family to Sandstone

And if you should see them drive by, be sure to smile and wave.

Sandstone County Episode Thirty

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

The Sandstone McPimp's
seems to be getting desperate for help.

God Loves Blondes

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the Lotto."

Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it. She again prays..."God, please let me win the Lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the Lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself..."Sweetheart, work with Me on this... Buy a ticket"

Hillary Appreciation?

Self-Explanatory

Sandstone County Episode Twenty-Nine

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

It seems that July was a good month for the Sandstone County Sheriffs Department. Here is the sheriff riding in the vehicle they confiscated from a drug runner. the sheriff has made some minor modifications to the auto and plans to use it during the course of his duties.

Sandstone County Episode Twenty-Eight

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by
2026

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a Minneapolis hotel's staff and one of its guests, Mark Hidrent. It seems that Officer Hidrent was sent to Minneapolis for some extra sensitivity training due to his reputation for excessive and abusive dealings with the local citizenry of Sandstone County.


******************************************************

Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please
remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the
medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They
are in my way. Thank you,
Mark A. Hidrent

----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Room 419,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower
soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out
of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you
should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left
today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3
soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Cindy, Relief Maid

----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Cindy did not tell you about my note to her concerning
the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening
I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my
medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two
weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need
those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way
when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.
Mark A. Hidrent

----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Hidrent,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps
which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps
which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish
where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for
your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which
are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new
check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in
last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Helen

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Hidrent,
The assistant manager, Mr. Sandler, informed me this A.M. that
you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your
maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope
you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you
have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my
personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you.
Susan Fletcher
Housekeeper

----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mrs. Fletcher,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel
for business at 745 AM and don't get back before 530 or 6PM.
That's the reason I called Mr.Sandler last night. You were
already off duty. I only asked Mr. Sandler if he could do
anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you
assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since
she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet
along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf.
In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap.
Why are you doing this to me?
Mark A. Hidrent

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Hidrent,
Your maid, Cindy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to
your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further
assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you,
Susan Fletcher,
Housekeeper
----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Sandler,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from
my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last
night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere
Bouquets.
Mark A. Hidrent

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Hidrent,
I have informed our housekeeper, Susan Fletcher, of your soap
problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room
since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time
they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately.
Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
William R. Sandler
Assistant Manager

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mrs. Fletcher,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in
last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54
little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial.
Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my
bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
Mark A. Hidrent

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Hidrent,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them
removed. Then you complained to Mr. Sandler that all your soap
was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which
had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily
(sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets.
Obviously your maid, Cindy, did not know I had returned your
soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I
don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size
Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in
your room.
Susan Fletcher
Housekeeper

-----------------------------------------------------------------


Dear Mrs. Fletcher,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap
inventory.
As of today I possess:

- On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of
4 and 1 stack of 2.
- On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1
stack of 3.
- On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1
stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
- Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1
stack of 2.
- In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
- On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
- On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Cindy when she services my room to make sure the
stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that
stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that
my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent
spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased
another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel
vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
Mark A. Hidrent

************************************************************

All correspondence ended at this point. It is alledged that Officer Hidrent was arrested the following day for assault. It seems that Officer Hidrent cornered Mrs. Fletcher in an elevator and beat the crap out of her. We have no word as to the progress of Officer Hidrent's sensitivity training.

Air and Car Show Extravaganza

Today's Air and Car Show Extravaganza at the Cloquet Airport and Dunlap Island was a fun time for all. I am sorry that I missed the air show but, the car show on Dunlap Island was a blast. Besides gazing at the usual beauties there was a hot rod burnout, an audio exhaust competition and a flame throwing contest.

Although, the competitions were quite fun, I must state, that none of the cars had near the burnout capability or fine sound that my old '72 SS Camaro had back in the day. That is, until a non-contestant pulled up behind the bleachers and gave the sweetest exhaust symphony ever. No actual contestant even came close to the glorious sounds expelled by this rogue driver and his ride.

The flame throwing contest was a bit better. My old Camaro couldn't begin to throw out some of the massive flames that some of these cars did. It should be noted that these autos all used specialized equipment designed specifically for the task. We didn't do this back in the glory days.

As I said, however, it was a great time and I can't wait until the next event. Perhaps I will start looking for an ol' Camaro. Anyone seen any decent pre-80's 'maros' lately?

A Morality Test

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

THE SITUATION

You are in Florida, Miami:to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

THE TEST

Suddenly you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's Jesse Jackson! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever. You have two options-- You can save the life of Jesse Jackson, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful politicians.


THE QUESTION

Here's the question and please give an honest answer:

Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the
classic simplicity of black and white?

Sent by my cousin

TWO MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Lesson One:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit on my ass like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it

Management Lesson:
To be sitting on your ass and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Lesson Two:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my manure droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of manure, found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Three:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out. He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lessons:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy..
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This concludes your two-minute management course.

Sent to me by a friend

Storm Hits Park During Tournament

A storm hit Braun Park, this past weekend during the ASA Minnesota State U-14 Girls Fastpitch Softball Tournament. All of the portable shelters, which the park recently acquired for the event, were destroyed by the winds. The storms eventually died down and the games continued in spite of the unseasonably hot weather, which did not diminish. Congratulations to the Cloquet team which weathered all the storms and went on to take first place in the competition.

Sandstone County Episode Twenty-Seven

Sandstone County Sheriffs Department - To Serve, To Protect, To Get Rid of All Dirtbag Criminals by 2026

One day Dirk Baggs was visiting The Stumble Inn, his favorite Sandstone Bar. After a few drinks he told the new bartender, "I'll bet you $100 that I can bite my right eye." The bartender grinned and said, "Okay, you drunk, your on"

Dirk pulled out his fake right eye and bit it.

After more drinks Dirk said, "I bet you $200 I can bite my left eye." The bartender knew it could not be fake, so he said, "Okay."

Dirk pulled out his dentures and bit his left eye.

The bartender, by now was really mad. After a few more drinks, Dirk said, "I'll bet you $500 that if you slide a shot glass down the bar, I can hop on each stool and pee in it without getting a drop on your bar."

The bartender knew he could not do it so he said okay.

The bartender slid the shot glass as fast as he could. Dirk jumped on all the stools and peed all over the bar. The bartender jumped up and screamed in joy because he won $500.

In the back he heard, a man yelling in frustration. He asked the man why.

The man replied, "That drunk fool bet me $1000 that he can pee on your bar and you would be happy about it!"